Friday, July 10, 2015

an open letter to the tailgating community

Oh dear... Such Language...

What a potty mouth!

No matter how much you tailgate me, no matter how much you try to intimidate me with your manly truck and cursing, it won't work.

It will never work.

I will not speed for you.

You see, your psychology is such that no matter how fast I go, you will tailgate. If I speed up, so will you. If you don't like going the speed limit, pass. If you cannot pass due to traffic and road construction, then suck it up buttercup.

You might as well back off.

I will not speed for you.

All that would happen if I speed up is that you would tailgate me at a higher speed. My reaction room for things in front of me would be hampered because of your presence so close behind. I would not be able to press the brakes hard for anything in front of me, all because of your presence on my bumper. In fact, to be safe, I have to go slower due to you being there.

Kind of makes your intimidation tactics rather counter productive, no?

Your tailgating has also rendered you myopic. You cannot afford to look past my brake lights in case I have to hit the brakes for someone pulling out or a deer or a sudden stoop on my part into the realm of the psychotic as I "brake test" you - a truly twisted behaviour designed to do nothing but cause a crash and hurt someone. All this means is you have no clue what is happening down the road. None.

So yeah, I won't speed for you.

But I just might save you from a nasty crash.

Oh yes, one other thing.

You simply are not worth the ticket.


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