Picture this.
You are on a hike. A walk. A pleasant ride on your bicycle.
The weather is nice, warm, and comfortable. There is no rain.
The trail is pretty, and people pleasant.
You feel almost as if you are entering a state of bliss, of paradise.
And then you see it, hanging from a tree, swaying in the breeze... a bag of dog shit.
And there, thanks to a selfish dog walker, goes the neighbourhood.
If you must own a dog, clean up after it.
the i hate everything blog
Monday, July 13, 2015
Friday, July 10, 2015
an open letter to the tailgating community
Oh dear... Such Language...
What a potty mouth!
No matter how much you tailgate me, no matter how much you try to intimidate me with your manly truck and cursing, it won't work.
It will never work.
I will not speed for you.
You see, your psychology is such that no matter how fast I go, you will tailgate. If I speed up, so will you. If you don't like going the speed limit, pass. If you cannot pass due to traffic and road construction, then suck it up buttercup.
You might as well back off.
I will not speed for you.
All that would happen if I speed up is that you would tailgate me at a higher speed. My reaction room for things in front of me would be hampered because of your presence so close behind. I would not be able to press the brakes hard for anything in front of me, all because of your presence on my bumper. In fact, to be safe, I have to go slower due to you being there.
Kind of makes your intimidation tactics rather counter productive, no?
Your tailgating has also rendered you myopic. You cannot afford to look past my brake lights in case I have to hit the brakes for someone pulling out or a deer or a sudden stoop on my part into the realm of the psychotic as I "brake test" you - a truly twisted behaviour designed to do nothing but cause a crash and hurt someone. All this means is you have no clue what is happening down the road. None.
So yeah, I won't speed for you.
But I just might save you from a nasty crash.
Oh yes, one other thing.
You simply are not worth the ticket.
What a potty mouth!
No matter how much you tailgate me, no matter how much you try to intimidate me with your manly truck and cursing, it won't work.
It will never work.
I will not speed for you.
You see, your psychology is such that no matter how fast I go, you will tailgate. If I speed up, so will you. If you don't like going the speed limit, pass. If you cannot pass due to traffic and road construction, then suck it up buttercup.
You might as well back off.
I will not speed for you.
All that would happen if I speed up is that you would tailgate me at a higher speed. My reaction room for things in front of me would be hampered because of your presence so close behind. I would not be able to press the brakes hard for anything in front of me, all because of your presence on my bumper. In fact, to be safe, I have to go slower due to you being there.
Kind of makes your intimidation tactics rather counter productive, no?
Your tailgating has also rendered you myopic. You cannot afford to look past my brake lights in case I have to hit the brakes for someone pulling out or a deer or a sudden stoop on my part into the realm of the psychotic as I "brake test" you - a truly twisted behaviour designed to do nothing but cause a crash and hurt someone. All this means is you have no clue what is happening down the road. None.
So yeah, I won't speed for you.
But I just might save you from a nasty crash.
Oh yes, one other thing.
You simply are not worth the ticket.
Saturday, July 4, 2015
road tax warriors
Drive me nuts they do.
The argument goes something like this: Those damn cyclists! Riding all over my road! Getting in my way! Flouting the laws! Don't pay them road taxes like I do! Don't pay for the roads! Get off my lawn!
Welp, yeah.
Right.
Sure.
Those of you who read news stories which mention bicycles have likely come across the anti-cycling illiterati who use such logic in the comment sections. I have seen so much of this crap that it makes my head hurt.
And I hate that.
Thing is, you see, no one pays road tax.
There ain't no such beast.
That is worth repeating.
No one pays road tax.
There ain't no such beast.
Local roads are paid for by local government - read property taxes which all contribute to whether a home is owned or rented - and general funds from the province or federal government in the form of infrastructure grants. Provincial roads are paid for by the provincial government - read everybody no matter how they get around - and federal government grants. This is true for Canada at least.
This means that cyclists pay for roads. Even those that they cannot ride on. This is because cyclists, get this, live in houses and apartments just like everybody else and pay taxes on those properties. No. It's true. Really.
Anyway, maintenance of roadways comes from government - property and income taxes - and from gasoline tax.
Aha!
A tax that is not paid by cyclists which funds roads!
AHA!!!!
GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!!
Hang on a minute there.
Hit the brakes.
Remember that gas tax is a user fee based on how much fuel is being consumed. Resent this? Use less fuel. An increased use of fuel results in an increased amount of tax paid. This is simple math. Use more fuel, pay more tax. Deal with it or move on...
Also, it is worth noting that when there is an increase in the amount of fuel burned due to poor driving habits, heavy vehicles, inefficient vehicles, high mileage, etc there is incurred a subsequent increase in wear on publicly funded infrastructure by the individual user. Someone has to pay for road wear and logic would dictate that the biggest users of the road - both in terms of mileage, abuse, and tonnage - should be the ones to pay the biggest share in fixing the damn things.
Last time I checked, bicycles don't wear out roads...
Hrmmm. Wait a sec.
That is actually true.
However, we do help pay to build roads which are useless to cycling whether we use them or not, and we do, through other revenue streams which direct funds to road maintenance, help repair the damage done to our collective infrastructure by private road users who clearly don't pay their own way when it comes to maintenance...
This makes me think that cyclists should bitch and complain about cars and their drivers doing damage to public infrastructure disproportionate to how much is being paid by them to repair the damage they cause!
This is unfair!
Give me a rebate for riding a bicycle!
Raise gas taxes!
Get off my lawn!
(It is funny that no one resents pedestrians walking and proposes a shoe tax to help pay for roadways...
People do know that sidewalks are part of the road right of way, right?
Clearly, there should be a sidewalk tax imposed on walkers. Car drivers pay too much for that crap.
Get off my lawn...)
The argument goes something like this: Those damn cyclists! Riding all over my road! Getting in my way! Flouting the laws! Don't pay them road taxes like I do! Don't pay for the roads! Get off my lawn!
Welp, yeah.
Right.
Sure.
Those of you who read news stories which mention bicycles have likely come across the anti-cycling illiterati who use such logic in the comment sections. I have seen so much of this crap that it makes my head hurt.
And I hate that.
Thing is, you see, no one pays road tax.
There ain't no such beast.
That is worth repeating.
No one pays road tax.
There ain't no such beast.
Local roads are paid for by local government - read property taxes which all contribute to whether a home is owned or rented - and general funds from the province or federal government in the form of infrastructure grants. Provincial roads are paid for by the provincial government - read everybody no matter how they get around - and federal government grants. This is true for Canada at least.
This means that cyclists pay for roads. Even those that they cannot ride on. This is because cyclists, get this, live in houses and apartments just like everybody else and pay taxes on those properties. No. It's true. Really.
Anyway, maintenance of roadways comes from government - property and income taxes - and from gasoline tax.
Aha!
A tax that is not paid by cyclists which funds roads!
AHA!!!!
GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!!
Hang on a minute there.
Hit the brakes.
Remember that gas tax is a user fee based on how much fuel is being consumed. Resent this? Use less fuel. An increased use of fuel results in an increased amount of tax paid. This is simple math. Use more fuel, pay more tax. Deal with it or move on...
Also, it is worth noting that when there is an increase in the amount of fuel burned due to poor driving habits, heavy vehicles, inefficient vehicles, high mileage, etc there is incurred a subsequent increase in wear on publicly funded infrastructure by the individual user. Someone has to pay for road wear and logic would dictate that the biggest users of the road - both in terms of mileage, abuse, and tonnage - should be the ones to pay the biggest share in fixing the damn things.
Last time I checked, bicycles don't wear out roads...
Hrmmm. Wait a sec.
That is actually true.
However, we do help pay to build roads which are useless to cycling whether we use them or not, and we do, through other revenue streams which direct funds to road maintenance, help repair the damage done to our collective infrastructure by private road users who clearly don't pay their own way when it comes to maintenance...
This makes me think that cyclists should bitch and complain about cars and their drivers doing damage to public infrastructure disproportionate to how much is being paid by them to repair the damage they cause!
This is unfair!
Give me a rebate for riding a bicycle!
Raise gas taxes!
Get off my lawn!
(It is funny that no one resents pedestrians walking and proposes a shoe tax to help pay for roadways...
People do know that sidewalks are part of the road right of way, right?
Clearly, there should be a sidewalk tax imposed on walkers. Car drivers pay too much for that crap.
Get off my lawn...)
it's true, i do
well, really, i don't...
but it will be a silly place where i rant about things that i "hate" because i feel like it. like capital letters. hate the silly things...
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